


Being Eobard

by Sheneya



Series: Being Eobard [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, Lists, M/M, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 04:46:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8432404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheneya/pseuds/Sheneya
Summary: A list of Eobard Thawne-Allen aka Harrison Well-Allen's attempts to relive his formerly evil lifestyle.... without angering his husband.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is basically just random Eobarding that started on tumblr at this point.

1\. Sped through a bingo hall and dabbed a few of the players books to make them believe they had bingo. Tried to frame it as an attempt to help them overcome their obvious gambling addiction.

ATTEMPT FAILED. Was scolded by Barry.

 

2\. Put young children’s pets up trees.

ATTEMPT FAILED. Forgot that the majority of this century’s dogs have not been genetically engineered to climb up trees yet. 

Was relegated to the couch for a week.

 

3\. Played obnoxiously loud, crappy pop music in a suburban neighbourhood at 3am.

ATTEMPT FAILED. Barry refused to sing something else to me to drive this damn song out of my head.

 

4\. Speed into movie premieres and shout random spoilers in the middle of the showing.

ATTEMPT SUCCESSFUL. However it was a film both Cisco and, surprisingly Caitlin were looking forward to. 

Barry has sided with them. 

Currently indefinitely banned from pizza night. 

I miss my double beef meat lovers pizza.

 

5\. Steal random underwear off some clothes lines.

ATTEMPT FAILED. David Singh’s husband Rob is clearly under estimated by many people, myself included.

Considering the possibility he may be a meta human of some sort. I’ve never been hit by that much crockery while using the speed-force before.

Received a severe scolding from Rob, a bill to cover the dishes that broke and a threat to withdraw dessert rights at the monthly dinners if I do it again.

 

6\. Convinced Barry to have sex in a part of the S.T.A.R Labs I knew this… Earth-2 Harrison Wells would walk past at some point.

ATTEMPT SUCCESSFUL. Harry choked on his coffee. 

Barry squeaked quite adorably. 

Will have to keep an eye on this new Wells though, 

I swear his eyes didn’t avert fast enough after he saw us.

 

7\. Speed naked through the main centre of the city.

ATTEMPT FAILED. A slight miscalculation had me speeding through the fire station rebuilding project.

Before they’d wet the sand.

I now have sand in areas I never wanted sand.

And friction burns in those same areas.

Even Barry being willing to rub cream on my affected areas isn’t going to be fun at this point.

 

8\. Broke all the S.T.A.R Labs coffee machines.

ATTEMPT FAILED. I never realised how terrifying Cisco… and Caitlin…. and Joe…. and Iris… and that Earth-2 Wells could be.

No wonder caffeine is a regulated substance in my century.

Barry told me he used to practically function on it before the accelerator explosion

Thank God he tends to burn it off so fast these days.

 

9\. Switched out all the salt shakers with sugar at Jitters.

ATTEMPT FAILED.

Forgot Doctor Stein is diabetic.

And has very strong opinions on altering peoples food in cafes and restaurants.

And is prone to giving lengthy lectures on subjects he feels strongly about.

I’ve been here for an hour and Barry refuses to save me.

Running away myself will just postpone the inevitable.

 

10\. Taught a grade schooler how to swear.

ATTEMPT SUCCESSFUL.

Within a day half the school yard population was flinging swear words left, right and centre. Parents and staff are still trying to find the original culprit.

Barry has either not found out or is ignoring the obvious.

 

11\. Switched off Auto-tune at a local concert.

ATTEMPT WAS MIXED.

Singer got some flack for having the auto-tune on, but they weren’t that bad to begin with.

This century confuses me sometimes.

 

12\. Outran a NASCAR vehicle during the race. Then stole the trophy and ran off screaming I’d legitimately won the race, so it was mine.

ATTEMPT SUCCEEDED, TECHNICALLY.

On the plus side, We discovered that Cisco and Caitlin’s speed-force resistant meds are….. VERY effective.


End file.
